The UPDATE

So this note was supposed to be about my “best weekend in recent memory” right? Well, that lovely experience was compliments of my dear friend Emily Bintz and HER nearest and dearest.  Em and I met in Texas almost 4 years ago through a mutual friend and became insta-friends.  She is marrying the love of her life in June so this past weekend was her “bridal shower”.  Let me say – if THAT is how bridal showers are done, it was my first =).  No silly games or secret stickers on plates, just quality time with friends (mostly new ones for me), a spa day, a gorgeous lake house, yummy food, LOTS of laughs and great conversations.  We were utterly and completely girly even with some male presence – they embraced our girly beautifully – I mean, like champs.

I got into Charlotte on the Saturday before Memorial Day, miraculously at the same time as Em’s parents and sister.  We all rode to Michelle’s house (Em’s best friend) together where I was greeted with possibly the best and tightest I-haven’t-seen-you-in-forever-ohmygosh-I-love-you HUG.  You see, Emily and I only actually spent about 2 months in the same place, the entire rest of our friendship has been forged long distance, through my cancer, a career and life move for her, and both of us finishing degrees…it’s been work, but an absolute delight  =)  Anyway, I love her to tiny pieces and was elated to be able to see her and meet her peeps before the wedding.  We got the grand tour, hung out for a bit, noshed on veggie and red pepper hummus with carrots and olives before leaving for the spa.  We had a lunch of grilled salmon, steam broccoli, buffalo mozzarella and tomato flatbread with Caesar salad on the patio before changing into our comfy spa robes.  We all got different treatments; I got a mani/pedi with a break in the middle for more small snacks, a flip through Harper’s Bazaar and a mimosa while kicking back in a “Ladies Lounge” chaise.  All the while thinking, “I was made for this” =D

All scrubbed, painted, pressure pointed, massaged and otherwise beautified we headed home for more relaxing, talking and eating.  We had a surprise slumber party themed girl’s night for Emily, with new nighties and chick flicks.  We had pizza and salad before chocolate cake and Champaign followed by our best attempt at a respectable cocktail.  We tried…but we were tired =).  A few of us made it through Never Been Kissed, I totally forgot how adorable that movie is…even with all the vicarious humiliation.  Off to bed we went, or went again as it were.  Monica, Em and I stayed up talking for a while, it felt very dorm like and fun.  Sleep came and went, it was wonderful.  I actually woke up really early but when I remembered where I was, I forced myself out of bed to go enjoy the view.  You know you’re officially old when you will not allow yourself to sleep through vacation.  We got ready and would have take the boat to the brunch spot but between the intermittent rain and the baby, it was best to drive.  I had some smoke salmon with Gruyere deliciousness and a poached egg…followed by pumpkin brioche bread pudding with maple ice cream, caramel drizzle and pecans!  O-M-G!!!  Who knew dessert after brunch was acceptable?!  I will never eat breakfast again!

Back to the house for the actual bridal shower part where we gave gifts and each received the most beautiful and heartfelt message from Emily – it made everyone cry.  Plus I’m a words of affirmation girl, so it was all kinds of lovin’ for me =)

After the shower I got to see an old friend and spent the later part of the afternoon and evening on a different part of the lake, on a boat ride, having a delicious and meaty dinner, learning I was better at video games when I was 7.  Although, I did win whatever we were playing 3 times in a row, and no, I am not competitive at all!  There was cheesecake with fresh berries, a precious puppy and the best tour of uptown Charlotte I could have gotten.  I think it looks best in the dark and pouring rain actually =)

There was so much to see, hear and feel…I felt like I was there for a week!  It was so neat to meet new people from totally different backgrounds than me and feel genuine connections with them.  I’m really looking forward to seeing them again at the end of June!  That may not be what you thought I was writing about, but that’s my definition of an AMAZING weekend!!

In other news, I got a JOB and I’m MOVING!  Those are also great stories but I will have to write that note Monday maybe.  I have to go to sleep now and technically  - I haven’t packed a thing.  I pick up the 14’ Uhaul tomorrow morning =).  Lisa asked who was going to be able to drive it – seriously?  Duh.

Graduation Day!

It's taken me just over 10 years to get here and I'm still trying to wrap my brain around being done.  Thankfully I haven't been continuously in school...no school should give me a degree if it took that long.  A pat on the head and an "A" for effort maybe?  Anyway, 2 years on...5 years off...a semester on...1 year off...2 years on and here we are!  It's been a LONG journey, lots of living and learning, loving and losing, failing and succeeding, struggling and surviving but I made it!!  Dragging your shingle-covered self across the stage is still finishing.

Obviously, I wouldn't be here in body let alone a cap and gown without the incredible grace and mercy of God.  I'm so thankful He's faithful to complete the work He started in me...no matter how long it takes.  My friends have been an awesome support network and cheering section.  Brian was certainly my rock in the scary beginning when my brain was still getting back up to speed and I was seriously doubting whether I could do it.  We both learned alot from my classes and the questions they raised and he believed in me enough for both of us.  I honestly don't think I would have made it as far as I did without him.  He's coming to graduation today (Sunday), which I'm really happy about.  I feel like we did it together (though I must say I worked harder) and even if we aren't together anymore...I still wanted to celebrate with him.  In total there will be about 12 of my closest friends, including my Sister, Sami, my cousin Adam and his girlfriend Lauren are in town from Chicago for the celebration.  I'm excited, I just wish the commencement exercises wasn't 3 hours long...that's crazy talk!

I'm having a breakfast of pancakes with fresh blueberries and bananas, Frank's special eggs and cheddar cheese, Farmer's Market turkey sausage and mimosas with fresh strawberries.  I have some snacks planned out for the 5.5 hours I will sitting on a cement floor in my cap and gown.  Lisa and Laura vetod my original plan of tuna to-go.  Then we're going to this yummy restaurant to meet up with more people and have dinner.  After dinner I think we're going back to Laura's or their parents for dessert and coffee.  Then I imagine everyone will need to go home - since they have grown up jobs.  My new job is going to be finding a job.  That should be fun.

Well it's time for bed.  I've cleaned the crap out of my apartment (not literally, unless you count Ama's litter) and made it guest worthy.  I grocery shopped and planned out my possible outfit(s) for tomorrow.  It's likely to be this pretty red and white dress with strappy red heels.  I applied my "Glow and Steady" self tanner and will hopefully be less neon white tomorrow morning. I'll pics of the festivities later. 

Side note: I watched a film last night called "Waking the Dead" - I was sobbing for an hour afterwards.  Ok I was partially hormonal and a smidgy depressed feeling but it was still a fantastically tragic, beautiful love story.  The album I listed was playing at the closing and through the credits...I can't get enough.  The song called "Snow Come Down" is crazy good.  Ohmygosh she is sooooooo awesome!!

What am I missing??

I just found out I have shingles.  I've been in pain for a few days but the actual sores didn't appear until Tuesday night accompanied by tingling and pain on the left side of my body from behind my ear to my toes.  That freaked me out and I had a gut instinct to go to hospital.  I thought I was overreacting so I just stayed home, but when I was praying and rubbing my throbbing leg I thought - "Um, hello?! Gut instinct=Holy Spirit...remember sepsis?!"

So I jumped on WebMD around 12:30am and narrowed my diagnosis to cellulitis or shingles.  When all my symptoms fell under "seek medical attention immediately IF..." I got dressed and headed to the ER.  My suspicions were confirmed by 3 docs after about 5 hours, a CT, and the most painful blood drawing procedure EVER.  I'm no wuss when it comes to this stuff but I screamed and had to catch my breath when they drove a 20 gauge needle into the center of my wrist after 2 failed attempts elsewhere.  They suspected MRSA at first which totally terrified me.  I told the 1st resident I saw that mentioning encephalitis didn't scare me, but MRSA made me tear up.  I was rejoicing when the attending told me it was shingles (in a place he had never seen before).  He brought in another doc to basically show and tell because it was so rare to them and he wanted to show this other guy to avoid mis-diagnosis in the future.  It wasn't humiliating at all .  Let me just say that I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, it is absolutely AWFUL! 

I've felt led to pray for my heart to be nearer to God and that I will learn in the midst of this trial.  He's not dumb and knows perfectly well that I need to be healed, I just feel like the bigger priority at this point is my heart, character and spirit and less the surface/physical manifestation of disease.

Anyway, this has really put a kink in my finals plans...it is unbelievably painful and the meds that have to take make me really sleepy.  Speaking of the meds - can you believe they cost $500 (?!?!) because my insurance company won't pay for them, which is so freaking typical.  They want me to use a weak version of the anti-viral and won't cover this cream that works with the oral med to protect the surface of my skin from infection.  Talk about shortsighted!  Paul said if it spreads any further I will have to be hospitalized for IV meds.  <sigh>  I had a melt down, well I've had a few...but now I just sense God drawing my heart to him and sort of asking me to see the big picture.  I think (maybe) that I continue to walk this road of suffering because I'm just not grabbing hold of what I'm supposed to be learning.  I'm not implying God is afflicting me with sores and deadful pain (literally) - but in general and with this specifically, there is so much to be gained from the pain if I will look to Him and not my circumstance.  Ya know?

I'll keep you posted on this...and if you would just pray as you feel led, that would be AWE-some!